DIRTY ALPHAS Page 16

“For what?”

  “Loving me.”

  I laugh. “You’re easy to love, Nicki. So damn easy to love. I can’t get enough of you.”

  “Me neither. I’ve never needed anyone, but I need you, John.”

  I smile against her hair. She has no idea how badly I needed to hear her say that. Now I know she’s in this as much as I am. She’s all in.

  This thing between us is the real deal.

  “I need you, too, baby.”

  Chapter 31

  ~Nicki~

  I walk out of John’s bedroom into the living room. Mitch is sitting on the couch eating some toast and watching the TV. He looks up at the sound of my footsteps and wiggles his eyebrows. I tug at the hem of John’s t-shirt; suddenly feeling really exposed. Shit, I’m not even wearing any panties. What was I thinking?

  “Hey.”

  “Morning,” Mitch answers, through a mouthful of toast. “You want coffee?” he asks, moving to get up.

  “Relax. I’ll get it. I know where everything is. I’ve spent enough time here since you guys moved in.”

  “Just not in his bed before.”

  I feel my cheeks redden. Uncomfortable, I change the subject quickly. “So…how are classes?”

  “A breeze,” he says with a grin.

  I laugh. Mitch is so cool and collected. Nothing ever seems to faze him. “Really? That Engineering program is supposed to be one of the hardest programs in the college?”

  He wiggles his eyebrows. “I’ve got mad skills, Nicki.”

  “I never see you study.”

  “Gotta keep my rep intact, right? But, no, I do study. Just away from prying eyes. I need complete quiet. Can’t concentrate otherwise.”

  Huh. This is news to me.

  He leans back against the couch and says, “People like you and me have to work hard for everything we get. John and Chloe don’t have that problem. They’ve got their trust funds to fall back on, right?”

  “Yeah,” I say quietly. “Yeah, they do.”

  Mitch is like me: from the wrong side of the tracks, or whatever you want to call it. Like me, he’s here with a scholarship. I’m not sure about his exact story, because he never talks about it, but I know he came from a bad situation just like I did. Having that in common had us hitting it off right away when we met through John a couple of years back.

  I cross to the couch and take a seat beside him. I’ll wait for John to get out of the shower and we can have our morning coffee together.

  Something crumples under my weight and I lift my butt off the couch a little and grab the offending object. A piece of paper. I’m about to place it on the coffee table when the contents catch my eye. What on earth? My blood boils as I read it.

  I turn to Mitch. “What the hell is this? Is this from Axel? He’s threatening John?”

  Mitch looks as uncomfortable as hell. “It’s handled.”

  I’ve known him long enough to be able to tell when he’s bullshitting me. I catch the twitch of his right eye and I know right away that this is one of those times. “You’re lying.”

  “Nicki—”

  “This is happening because of me.”

  “John knew what he was doing when he crossed Axel Craven.”

  I shoot to my feet. “I’ll handle it.”

  “How?” Mitch asks, worriedly.

  I ignore the question. “Tell John I went home to change or something.”

  “Don’t, Nicki. He will flip if he finds out you’re going anywhere near Axel.”

  “That’s why you won’t be telling him. He doesn’t deserve this shit hanging over his head. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Don’t you guys have Sunday lunch with his parents today? In like two hours?”

  We do. For the last two years since John and I went away to college, we’ve been attending monthly lunches or dinners with his parents. We used to do it on a weekly basis when I lived with them during the last couple of years of high school. It’s something I always look forward to. It’s like having a family. His parents are always so warm and kind to me.

  “Yeah. I won’t be that long.”

  I hurry to the door. As I haul it open I hear Mitch cursing but I ignore it and hurry down the hall to my apartment.

  ***

  I’m leaning against the ivy-covered wall of the Grover building where a bunch of TA offices are located. I know that Axel has a tutoring session with one of them every Sunday. Knowledge like that comes from almost dating someone. What a mistake that’d been. I try not to have regrets about anything I do now. I had enough of that with my childhood. But Axel is most definitely one regret I can’t deny.

  I watch him push through the doors, dressed in his usual preppy way: a golf shirt and ironed beige slacks. His hair is slicked back with too much gel as usual. I step into his path.

  “Nicki,” he greets me, flashing that fake perfectly white smile of his.

  “We need to talk,” I tell him, my gaze steady and offering no alternative.

  He hesitates for a moment, clearly not expecting neither my presence nor my demanding attitude. And then he nods and gestures to a bench a few feet away on the green.

  He slides onto one side and I perch on the edge of the table top. Yeah, I prefer the higher ground.

  “So, what do you wanna talk about, Nicki? Is lover boy not giving you what you need? Just say the word and I’m all yours.”

  Ugh. Disgusting. “I’m here to talk about that night when you tried to rape me.”

  “What?” he gasps, jerking in his seat at the sound of the ‘R’ word. “I didn’t…I—”

  “Yes you did. I was drunk and you tried to take advantage of that. I was inebriated and incapable of giving you my permission,” I tell him bluntly. “Like I said; attempted rape.”

  He holds up his hands. “Look, I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

  I scrutinize him as he says the words and it’s clear he’s not lying for once. He really is sorry. Of course, that’s probably in response to the threat I’ve just uttered. But I don’t care about the reasons. I just need him unsettled enough to respond to me in the way I need him to. And I have it. He’s scared shitless, his eyes flicker erratically as he fiddles nervously with his well-coiffed hair.

  “Sorry isn’t gonna cut it.”

  “It was weeks ago. You can’t…do anything.” I can tell from the nervous waver in his voice that he’s not even sure if that’s true. Good. I need that doubt.

  “I have a good lawyer.”

  His eyes narrow and I see the Axel I’ve come to know. The dangerous, devious bastard. “John’s father, right? It will never stick, Nicki. You’ve waited too long.”

  I smile. “It doesn’t matter. The accusation alone will be enough to ruin your squeaky clean reputation, to discredit you. It’s gonna be difficult carving out the future you want, that your high-society parents want for you, with that hanging over your head, don’t you think? Things like that never truly go away.”

  He swallows hard and looks away. A few moments pass where I see him weighing up his options, trying to determine what to do. And then he blows out a breath. “Tell me what you want.”

  I lean into him, my eyes cold and my gaze hard and unwavering as I tell him, “End this thing with John Kingston. Let it go. Now.”

  His eyes meet mine and I see it there. The depth of his hatred for John. I’m not gonna lie, it scares me a little. But I manage to keep it from my face. Guys like him can smell fear. They get off on it. They’re like sharks getting a whiff of blood.

  “All right,” he mutters.

  “I’m gonna need more than that, Axel.”

  “Fuck,” he says with an exasperated growl. “I swear to you that this thing with John and me is done. I won’t come at him again. As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t exist.”

  “Good.” I gesture to his school bag. “Now take out a pen and paper. I’m gonna need that in writing. And while you’re at it, seeing as though you enjoy writing notes so much, I think you can also d
rum up an apology.”

  Chapter 32

  ~Nicki~

  John opens the passenger door of his truck and takes my hand, helping me out. He’s such a sweetheart and he knows that I have a hard time just balancing in heels, let alone climbing out of anything in them. The only time I wear heels is for these family dinners.

  But his attentiveness is more than that. He hasn’t stopped touching me at all. His hand was either on my thigh, stroking my hair, or holding my hand the entire way here. He’s been like this ever since we finally had sex and officially got together. He’s not one to discuss his feelings often, so I think this is him showing them to me, showing his love to me. I know it’s such a typical girly girl reaction, but it gives me little butterflies and I haven’t stopped walking around with a stupid-ass grin on my face for the last few days. If I’d known it was gonna feel like this, I would’ve taken things beyond friendship with him way sooner.

  He presses me gently against the side of his truck, his gaze sweeping over me slowly. A sly smile spreads over his face. “You’re killing me in this outfit, Nicki,” he says, running his hand down my silky pale-blue blouse. He reaches for one of the buttons and undoes it. “Mmm, leave it like that.”

  “John! We’re at your parents’ house. I can’t be flashing my boobs like this,” I say, quickly fixing the button.

  He groans in protest. “Then, I guess this skirt will just have to do,” he says, fingering the hem that stops mid-thigh. He slips his hands underneath it, his fingers brushing the edge of my panties. “Mmm…lace. You know that’s my weakness, baby. I dunno if I can keep it together knowing what’s waiting for me under here.”

  I bat his hand away. “Keep your dick in your pants.”

  “Easier said than done when you’re around.”

  I push him back and start for the garage door that leads into the house. “Come on. We’re gonna be late and your dad will be pissed.”

  He grabs my hand, pulling me back around to face him. The playful look on his face is suddenly gone, replaced with…what…agitation? I watch as he pulls something out of the back pocket of his dress pants. He pushes it into my hand before I can get a look at it.

  Shit. I look down and see that it’s Axel’s apology note.

  “Huh,” I say calmly. “I guess he decided to finally cut his losses and back down.”

  He snatches it from me and stuffs it back into his pocket. He folds his arms across his chest, the thin material of his black dress shirt straining against his broad shoulders and those impressive biceps of his.

  “I know it was you.”

  I shift my weight on my heels. “What?” I ask, innocently. Innocent, my ass.

  “You left my place this morning and right around that time, I received this little note. What an amazing coincidence, huh?”

  “Yeah, a coincidence,” I say, biting my lip nervously. Oh crap.

  “You did this, Nicki. You went to see him,” he says, stepping into me. “Admit it. We’re staying right here until you do.”

  Son of a bitch. There’s no point denying it now. “Yes, I went to see him.”

  “I’ve been busting my ass to keep him away from you!”

  “I went for you.”

  “I didn’t need you to.”

  “The entire feud between you two was my fault. And so I fixed it.”

  “Nicki,” he says, taking both of my hands and holding them between us. “I’ve never liked the guy. Your involvement was just the catalyst to something that would’ve happened eventually anyway. I was handling it.”

  “And now I’ve handled it. It’s over. He won’t be bothering you again.”

  “I don’t need you to fight my battles,” he snaps.

  “Why not? You’re fighting mine…with Greg.”

  “That’s different.”

  I pull my hands away and rest them on my hips. “How? Because I’m a girl? Is that it?”

  “No. Cuz I need to protect you.”

  “Right, because I’m a girl.”

  “Cuz I failed!” he yells, suddenly. He turns away from me and runs his fingers through his hair, clearly distressed.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask gently. “You literally saved my life.”

  It takes him a moment to respond. And when he does it’s in a barely-there whisper thick with pain and heavy regret. “He had his hands on you several times before I did anything.”

  “I hid it from you for a long time.”

  “I should’ve known.”

  “How?” I walk over to him and slide my arms around his waist, resting my head against his back. “You saved me. You brought me into your home and gave me something I’ve never had: a real family.”

  He twists in my grip until we’re face to face. “I won’t let him touch you again. I swear it.”

  “I don’t want you to lay a hand on him.”

  “If I have to—”

  “No. He provokes you too easily. I don’t want you in that position. Promise me you won’t. We’ll do this how you said; the proper way.”

  It takes him a moment but he finally nods. “I’ll talk to my dad after dinner.”

  “Really?” I ask, surprised that he’s backing down so easily. It’s not like him.

  “Yeah. Honestly, it’s been difficult lately. You know how I get and all this shit with Axel…it’s…”

  “Testing you too much?” I finish for him.

  “Yeah.”

  I rub his arms softly. “It’s okay. That bastard deserved what he got. But, yeah, you need to avoid further situations like that.”

  “You know I would never lose it with you, right?” he asks, urgently. His entire body tenses as he waits for my response.

  “God, no. Of course not. I know that, John. Don’t think like that. Ever.”

  “It’s just—”

  “Let me guess; Axel put that idea in your head?”

  He nods.

  “And, you, John Kingston, are letting a punk like him get to you?”

  “I—”

  I stretch up on my tiptoes and ruffle his hair. “Get a grip,” I jest. “And do me a favor while you’re at it?”

  “A favor?”

  “Yeah, you can grant your girlfriend one favor, right?” I tease.

  His arms tighten around me. “I can grant you a thousand favors, baby.”

  “I don’t want the Greg thing hanging over our heads. I want us to live our lives. To be happy. We just got together and I want to enjoy that…us, you know?”

  He smiles. “Yeah. I can do that.” He kisses me softly, before quickly pulling away. “Let’s get inside before I take you right here in my parents’ garage.”

  I chuckle and he takes my hand as we make our way into the house.

  ***

  “Really?” Tom asks John. “That’s a huge improvement,” he says, smiling at him.

  Whatever was said between John and his dad the last time we were here seems to have altered their relationship significantly. There’s obvious pride in his eyes now as he looks at his son. It is a far cry from the strict, critical attitude he always used to have around him before.

  I’d automatically tensed as soon as Tom had started asking John about school and his grades. But as John had told him that his grades were up, instead of finding something critical to say, Tom had grinned at him like a kid on Christmas morning.

  “Yeah, well. I’ve been a bit more focused lately,” John returns. He lays his hand on my arm and squeezes it gently, smiling at me. “Apparently, it is possible to have several points of focus after all.”

  I know what he’s getting at without him needing to say it. He’s learning to be less stubborn about the band; to be more relaxed and secure in its success, which has enabled him to give attention to other things like college and…me. Who would have figured that us getting together would change him so much? As soon as things had heated up between us, I’d noticed a change in him. He was more open and less set in his ways.

  Karen winks at me a
nd I smile back at her. The boys are finally getting along. I know it’s a relief to her as much as it is me, because we’ve always had to be their buffers in the past.

  A peaceful silence ensues for a little while as we all enjoy the fruits of Karen’s labor: a delicious Sunday roast.

  “How’s Worst Exit doing?” Tom asks suddenly.

  I can see the utter surprise on John’s face. His dad has never referred to the band by its name before. He usually avoids the subject at all costs. I always found it strange, considering his wife used to have a very lucrative career as a lounge singer for more than a decade. It’s where John gets his musical talent from. And Karen made a heck of a lot of money doing it. But I’d heard that it didn’t end well. It was the reason she and Tom had met. She’d hired him to help her out of her contract with her manager who was, apparently, one hell of a sleazebag. I guess Tom has been worried about John getting caught up in the dark, seedy side of the business. But John has never really delved into all of that. Sure, he dresses like a rock star, has tattoos, has the arrogant attitude and he used to fuck around before he and I hooked up. But that’s as far as it goes with him.

  His smoking isn’t even anything to do with the rock star thing. He gets that from his dad who smokes like a damn chimney.

  John is too smart to get pulled into any shit synonymous with the rock star lifestyle. He knows who he is, which is quite a feat given that he’s only twenty-one. I guess that was one of the things that drew us together from the start. We’re both like that and we don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks.

  “Me and Nicki are working on some new material,” John answers. “It’s been a while since we’ve written new stuff and I’m excited about it.” He looks at me and smiles.

  “You’re going to be writing the very thing that you’ve hated for so long soon, John,” Karen teases. “Love ballads.”

  John rolls his eyes. “Mom.”

  “Karen,” Tom laughs. “Don’t embarrass the boy.”

  We all burst into a fit of laughter.

  “I’m glad it’s going well,” Tom says sincerely, smiling at his son. “All of it,” he adds, looking between us.