DIRTY ALPHAS Read online

  She pushes her soaking wet hair out of her face and stares at me with disbelief. “I can’t believe you dunked me!”

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “Asswipe!” she yells.

  “Asswipe?”

  “Yeah, asswipe,” she says, all cute and defiant.

  “Hey, you started it. I just finished it, baby.”

  I see a devilish glint in her eyes. Uh oh. I know that look. “Finished it, huh?” she says.

  And before I know what’s hit me, she pushes me back, breaking my hold around her waist. She launches herself at me, trying to push me down into the water. I manage to resist and stay on my feet. I wrap my arms around her, trapping her in my hold.

  “What you gonna do now?”

  She squirms in my arms, but I hold firm. She growls with frustration before stilling altogether. I don’t loosen my hold. I know better than that. She’s a tough little thing.

  Something distracts her from her mission; she realizes the position we’re in. Her eyes roam over me; over the two of us pressed together wet and hardly dressed. Something flickers in her eyes. She leans into me and I know exactly what she wants. But I don’t give it to her.

  “John?”

  “Yes, baby?”

  She seems confused by my lack of reaction—or my lack of action. She doesn’t know what to do. Since we started this thing between us, I’ve always made the first move. I finally loosen my hold on her and she frees her arms, but doesn’t move away.

  I’m surprised as hell when she presses her hands to my chest. It fires me up instantly, despite the cold water surrounding us. I force myself not to move. She needs to take the lead.

  Her lips crash against mine. She’s so aggressive about it that I have to respond. I deepen the kiss. And then she shocks me by pretty much thrusting her tongue down my damn throat. She doesn’t want slow and sweet this time. No, this time it’s different. It’s ferocious and primal. Her hands fist in my hair, tugging and trying to pull me closer. She’s wild. She’s challenging me.

  I can’t think straight with her suddenly all over me and before I can stop myself, my hands are slipping under her bikini top and playing with her tits. She gasps, but doesn’t stop kissing me for a second.

  And then I feel it; she trembles against me.

  A warning sparks in my brain.

  That’s when I get it. I get what this is about and I don’t like it. I don’t want it this way.

  I pull back.

  “Stop,” I choke out, pushing her back gently.

  “John, what—”

  “You don’t need to prove anything to me.”

  She wraps her arms around herself, now embarrassed. She won’t look at me. “I’m not—”

  “Yes you are, baby.”

  I reach for her, but she floats backwards.

  “Nicki, it’s okay.”

  “Stop it,” she snaps.

  I’m not sure what she means, but one thing I’m sure about is she’s pissed. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “You didn’t,” she mutters, looking anywhere but at me.

  “Look, I just…I don’t want it like this. I don’t want you forcing yourself to do things just to prove something to yourself.” As I say the words, it pisses me off. “Am I just an experiment to you, Nicki? A trial run?”

  She flinches. And then her eyes narrow. “Fuck you, John,” she says before turning her back on me and wading angrily through the water towards the embankment.

  I rush after her, hauling myself onto the grass just as she stomps towards where we’d been sitting. She grabs her dress off the ground, shivering as she stands there soaking wet and freezing in the cool Fall air.

  I pull a towel from my backpack and walk over to her. I snatch her dress out of her grip and hand her the towel. “Here. Dry first or you’ll get sick.”

  She mutters something and starts to pat herself dry. You’re welcome, woman. I grab myself a towel and pat myself down before slipping my shirt back on.

  “Asshole,” she mutters as she pushes past me to get to her dress. That’s it!

  I spin around and grab her arms, holding her steady and forcing her to look at me.

  “Asshole?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Let me tell you something about men, Nicki. We’re ruled by our dicks. I don’t care how good a guy acts. At the end of the day, we’re all the same. Some of us have better self-control than others, but we’ve still got that primal instinct. And when a guy wants someone as badly as I want you, it’s even harder. That first night when I ate you out, you have no idea what it took for me to hold back; not to take it further. And it freaked me out. But since then, I know where the line is for me. So, when I tell you we need to stop, fucking respect that. I’m trying my damnedest to protect you. So, if that makes me an asshole, so be it.”

  “Stop it, John!” she cries, struggling to break away.

  “Stop what?” I ask, tightening my hold on her. No way is she getting out of this one. I wanna know exactly what the hell is going on with her. “You keep saying that. Stop what?”

  “Treating me like I’m damaged!” she thunders. “Like I’m a fragile, broken little girl because of…because of what happened in the past.”

  “That’s what you think this is about?”

  “I know it is.”

  “You’re wrong. This is about you not being ready.”

  “I am ready.”

  “You say that, but I don’t feel it from you.”

  “Just fuck me!”

  The rage in her voice and the fiery look in her eyes catches me off guard. It hits me then and I let go of her. “Tell me something, Nicki; does it matter who it is?”

  “What?”

  “Do you care who pops your fucking cherry? Do you care that it’s me standing here?”

  She looks away. “Yes.”

  “Very fucking convincing,” I growl. “You already let that piece of shit, Axel, finger fuck you.”

  “What? How do you know about that?”

  Getting in her face, I glare down at her. “That’s how desperate you were to get your first time over with. Well, let’s get one thing straight here. I’m not gonna be another Axel. If that’s what I wanted, I would’ve fucked you that first night. I don’t date and yet here we are. I’m making an effort here, because I wanna be with you!”

  “Are you waiting for your medal?”

  Wow. Ice. “You just want my cock? Huh? Tell me!”

  She gives me a dirty look and turns away.

  But I’m not close to being done. I grab her hand, but she rips it from my grasp.

  “Look at me,” I command.

  She shakes her head as she struggles to pull her dress on.

  “How about I fuck you right now on the grass? You want that? I won’t even look at you while I’m pounding you. Pure mindless sex? How would you like that, baby? Is that what you want from me?”

  “I want to go home,” she murmurs, fixing her dress and keeping her eyes down.

  I blow out a frustrated breath. “Get in the truck. I’ll be there in a minute.” I need to calm down before I can drive. I hear her stomp away.

  I can’t even bring myself to look at her as she walks away. She’s never made me this angry before. Hell, it’s not just anger; it’s hurt. A woman actually managed to hurt me. She wants nothing more than a throwaway fuck. She played me, manipulated me into a relationship so I’d fuck her.

  And now I can’t stop thinking whether she would’ve given it up to Axel if he hadn’t been so rough with her. The idea of it makes me sick to my stomach. That woman is mine. How dare she consider spreading her legs for another man? Wait…who am I kidding? She’s not mine at all. Her silence just now made that clear.

  I really wanna call her a cab instead of driving her home. I don’t even wanna look at her; to be in the same space as her. But hell if I’m gonna come off looking like the asshole here.

  I’ll drive her home and then we’re done. Done! No one fu
cking plays me; not even her.

  Chapter 24

  ~Nicki~

  The campus pub is packed. Friday nights always draw a huge crowd, because it’s karaoke night. I take a sip of my beer and my eyes flick around the place. A sea of college students are gathered around the front of the bar, waving their hands, calling out their orders to the bartenders. I feel sorry for them; how do they handle all that crap? I’ve worked service jobs before. Every summer I work as a hostess at restaurant/bar and it gets packed sometimes, but nothing like this. Crazy.

  I’m glad that Chloe made us leave early to get here. We just managed to grab the last couple of stools at the far end of the bar. There weren’t even any booths or tables left. This was it. Chloe made it happen. A couple of guys beat us to it by a few seconds, but she did her thing and convinced them to give up their claims on the stools. The girl sure knows how to use her assets to her advantage. She can flirt her way through anything. Guys lose their common-sense around her. A mere flash of her cleavage, a flutter of her eyelashes and she had them in the palm of her hand. Amazing. I wish I was freer like her.

  “You gonna sing?” Chloe asks me suddenly.

  I laugh at the suggestion. “I don’t think so.”

  “Why not, babe? You have a kick-ass voice.”

  “I’ll save it for the real thing, thanks.” There’s no way I’m gonna get up there. It’s different when we’re playing a gig. I have backup then. Besides, John is the lead singer, so I’m never really out there on my own and exposed.

  “A couple more drinks and I’m gonna have you changing your mind,” Chloe threatens and I see that familiar glint of mischief in her eyes. Uh oh.

  Before I can respond, Mitch comes out of nowhere and pushes into Chloe, forcing her to move her stool so he can pull up his own beside her. Where the hell did he get that from? There are spare stools somewhere?

  “Hey, you big oaf!” she cries, slapping his arm in protest.

  He turns to her with a massive smirk on his face. “Good to see you, too, gorgeous.”

  Gorgeous? An odd look passes between them. Mitch leans into her and whispers something. Her eyes widen and she shoves him, leaving him laughing as he almost falls off his stool.

  “What’s going on?” I ask, more than a little curious now.

  Mitch rolls his eyes. He’s about to answer me when Chloe cuts in: “Nothing. He’s just being an ass as usual.”

  Mitch turns to her and she flashes him that don’t-mess-with-me look of hers. He sighs and says, “Yeah, nothing.”

  I’m not nearly convinced, but I can see how ill at ease Chloe is right now. It’s completely out of character for her; nothing ever seems to knock her off-kilter. I make a mental note to discuss it with her later when it’s just the two of us.

  Mitch eyes the empty pitcher on the bar top between Chloe and I. “I’ll get us some refills,” he says. He pats his stool and tells Chloe, “Hold onto this for me, gorgeous.”

  “You might wanna wait a while. It’s packed over there,” I say, gesturing to the front of the bar.

  “Nah. I know one of the bartenders. He’ll hook me up before those other assholes.”

  “We’re trying to have a girl’s night,” Chloe tells him.

  “Too bad. I’m hanging with you guys until my boy gets here,” he says, not the least bit deterred that Chloe’s shooting daggers at him. He winks at her and heads off to get our drinks, pushing his way through the crowds.

  I know immediately that his boy is John. Shit, John’s coming here?

  The two of us haven’t spoken since that awful blow up at the ravine. Two weeks have gone by since then.

  I don’t know how things managed to get so out of hand. One moment we were kissing and the next he started accusing me of using him for sex. He hadn’t given me a chance to catch my breath. He was so harsh, so graphic about everything. I’m barely able to talk about things like that in calmer circumstances, let alone in a fight like that. I didn’t know what the hell to say.

  “Nicki? You still with me?” Chloe asks, waving her hand in my face.

  I blink hard as I force myself from my thoughts. “Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?”

  “Can we switch seats?”

  “You want me to be your buffer against Mitch, of all people?”

  “Yeah,” she says, waving her hand urgently, gesturing for me to hurry up and switch seats with her. “Come on.”

  “Fine. I think you’re being ridiculous, though. It’s only Mitch,” I say, switching seats.

  “Do I look too hot right now?” she asks me, pulling up her low-cut white tank in a failed attempt to cover up some of her cleavage. She pulls at the lapels of her cropped denim jacket, trying to pull it closed.

  “Do up the buttons if you’re worried,” I tell her, surprised she’s so anxious to cover herself up. Normally, she’s always showing off what she’s got.

  “I can’t. It won’t close,” she says, gesturing to her boobs that are almost spilling out of it.

  I can’t stop a laugh from escaping.

  “It’s not funny!”

  “My God. What’s going on with you? Scratch that: what’s going on with the two of you?”

  She leans into me, her eyes darting around us cautiously, before she lowers her voice and tells me, “Shit, Nicki. We…it…it was an accident.”

  “What was?” I press, curious as hell.

  Before she can answer, someone pushes into me.

  “Watch it!” Chloe yells at whoever it is.

  I turn to my right to see a woman now perching on the stool beside me—the stool we were supposed to be saving for Mitch. Oh shit.

  “Excuse me?” I say, as politely as possible.

  She turns to me, her huge tits jutting out towards me, barely contained by the hot-pink strapless number she’s wearing. It’s so tight; I’m surprised she can even move at all. Her eyes sweep over me disapprovingly; my silver tank that shields my breasts from view, my leather jacket. She scoffs as her eyes flick past my jeans to my steel-toe military-style ankle boots. Clearly, she doesn’t approve of my outfit. It’s probably not revealing enough for her.

  “Yes?” she responds, curtly.

  “We’re saving that seat for a friend. He just went to get our drinks.”

  “Too bad,” she retorts, flipping her platinum blonde hair back.

  Chloe leans over me and barks out, “Hey, Bitch Barbie, take a hike.”

  I hear a familiar chuckle behind me. To my astonishment, John slips in between Barbie and me. He looks right past me and tells Chloe, “Relax. Just getting a drink.”

  “Nicki,” he says, nodding at me without making eye contact.

  And then I watch him wrap his arm around Barbie.

  What. The. Hell?

  I blink and do a couple of double takes. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. He’s standing right by my stool with his arm around another woman. I feel sick. I can’t breathe. What is he doing?

  I don’t know what to do. I’m completely frozen. I can’t move. I can’t speak. I can’t believe he would hurt me like this. Shocked as I am, I just keep staring at him…at them.

  And then it gets worse. His arm drops to her ass and he squeezes it. She squeals with delight and he laughs with her. The sound grates on my last nerve, snapping me out of my daze and into action.

  Chloe taps my arm. I can see by the look in her eyes, that she’s as shocked and appalled as I am. She pushes her beer glass into my hand. It’s still half-full, whilst mine is empty. “Use this.”

  I nod and push back my stool with so much force that it smacks into the one next to mine, nudging John. He turns to face me, with Barbie hanging from his arm.

  “What’s up?” he asks, casually, as if nothing shitty is happening here.

  It’s the final straw and I can’t stop myself. I just react, putting all my hurt and anger into it as I throw Chloe’s beer in his face.

  He flinches and stumbles back in surprise. But Barbie reacts first, screaming at me for g
etting some of it on her trashy dress. She breaks from him and launches herself at me.

  Oh this is on, bitch!

  I push her back with both hands and she teeters on her ridiculous six-inch heels. She comes at me again, going in for a slap. I’m a trained boxer, bitch! I catch her wrist before she can make contact. My right hand is fisted and ready in a second and I throw a right hook, aiming right for her face. But I never get the chance to hit my mark as John grabs her around the waist and pulls her back, just in time. Him defending her just infuriates me more and I snap, screaming at her, calling them both cheaters and God knows what else.

  I can vaguely hear the chants of fight, fight, fight around us and I can feel that we’re being watched now.

  And then powerful arms wrap around me, pulling me away.

  “Nicki, stop!” I hear Mitch hiss in my ear.

  My eyes lock with John’s and he isn’t calm now; not by a long stretch. Good. Barbie’s hands are all over him, trying to get his attention, but he pays her no mind. He just keeps staring at me.

  “I hate you!” I scream at him, before Mitch drags me away.

  ***

  I’m leaning against the wall of the ladies room, trying to catch my breath and wrap my head around the mess that is tonight. It feels surreal, like I’m living through someone else’s experience right now. I can’t believe this is happening. John is cheating on me with another woman? And he comes here and basically shoves her in my face? It’s not the John that I’ve known for the last few years. He’s been replaced by something repulsive; something I don’t recognize.

  But maybe this is him in a non-platonic capacity.

  My hands are shaking with adrenaline from the fight with that bitch. I feel sick and twisted inside, like something has reached in and ripped out a part of me. It burns right down to the bone. My head is spinning, fighting to rationalize this. I’ve never experienced anything like this before; this hurt. It’s crippling; all-consuming. If this is what it’s like dating a guy, I don’t want any part of it. I never want to feel like this again.